Awkward Pauses


The next several months were ones of awkward pauses.

We had left the church…but we didn’t have direction. We didn’t move forward, not yet.

We were preparing to say good-bye to my brother-in-law and his family…but not yet.

We were looking for a church home…but the ones we visited weren’t right.

To top it all off, my “one word” for 2013 turned out to be “obedience.”

When you’re living in a series of “not yet” times, obedience can be one of the hardest things to do. It’s not obedience to the big things but faithfulness in the small ones. It’s not saying the right yes; it’s learning to say the right no. Many, many times.

No to the Bible study you’d rather do. No to the house you’d rather stay in. No to the job you wish you had…or that your husband had. No to so many things that you just. want. to. do. Anything other than the awkwardness. Anything other than the hard faithfulness.

But that’s what obedience is all about. It’s not just being ready to say yes to being a missionary or a pastor. It’s being ready to say yes when you’d rather not write the post that day. It’s being ready to say no when you’d much rather scream yes, too.

Awkward pauses. Sometimes, just sometimes, they aren’t so awkward after all.

This post is part of a 31 Days series on Raising My Ebenezer, part of my story and my own testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness. As the song Come Thou Fount says, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thine help I’m come.” For the month of October, I’ll be writing our story, outlining the Ebenezers in recognition of His mighty hand on our lives. His doings and His workings because of and sometimes in spite of our best efforts. My hope is that you’ll see a lot of Him and little to none of me. Because in the end, it is by His help that we have come this far.


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