I shared several weeks ago what it meant when God showed me that the Church had become a god in my life. Not only did I put the Church before God Himself, I also worked on the Sabbath instead of resting. The third commandment that I found myself breaking is this one: Thou shalt not steal.
It took several minutes of looking over my life before I understood how God was applying this one. I don’t steal things. I’ve never been tempted to shoplift. Yes, I find myself wishing often that I had something someone else does, but I would never go so far as to steal it from them.
However. When it comes to my words, my relationship with God? I steal from people every day.
Most often, I keep the words that I should let out a secret. This often comes because I’m so worried, so concerned over how I will be seen. And I don’t want to be seen by Churchgod. I want to hide in my obscurity, never making a ripple much less a wave.
And yet. Over the years, I have seen my words heal when I speak or write them. I have seen them build others up and encourage them on their worst days. I have seen my words build up the Body of Christ, as they are meant to.
Even this observation has not encouraged me to speak, to write, to tweet, to post. Churchgod may see. And Churchgod may not see. Some days, I don’t know which is worse. If I’m noticed, then does that make me worth something? And if I’m not, does it mean I’ve lost my worth?
Churchgod lies. Churchgod confuses. When I tear down this god, when I break away from the confusion into the arms of my Savior, I find this to be true: my words, whether they are seen or not, are still beneficial. They are beneficial to me at the very least because every post, every tweet, every card or letter tears down another form of Churchgod’s lies. Every time I share instead of hide, I refuse to steal anymore.
I’m still working on this. I’m working on timing, on presentation, and on overcoming my fears. I cannot let Churchgod rule my life anymore. And gradually, I can see the hold that Churchgod had on me dissolving.