Becoming…

This post has been coming for a while now. I hate that it’s been so long since I posted here, but with all of my intentions and meaning to’s, I just haven’t. And that’s okay.

I didn’t mean to drop this blog for my other one. Really, I didn’t. I thought I would keep on posting here throughout the week and just post on there when I was scheduled to. But then life happened, and my “meaning to” never came about. Maybe once or twice in almost two years, but that’s a far cry from anywhere near “regular.”

And, really? I haven’t been posting on Sisters ‘N Cloth much either. Again, life happened. The life outside of the blogosphere happened. It’s really been too much to keep up with.

So why now? Why start over again in this seemingly empty space? Nearly two years later?

The reason why I started Sisters ‘N Cloth with my sister-in-law (yes, that was supposed to be a pun) was really because I realized that if I were to have a larger blog following, I needed someone else with me. If I were to host giveaways and blog consistently and have people interested in what I was saying, I would need support and encouragement and someone who would set goals and make me keep them. I love my sister-in-law, and she was the perfect candidate.

But in sharing my space online, I also realized that I was sharing my goals, my vision, my dreams, and that they would never fully align with hers. That’s not a problem. It was a wonderful learning experience (and still is). Working on Sisters ‘N Cloth has helped me to learn how to share my vision, how to lovingly correct, and how to move forward with someone by my side. In other words, I wouldn’t change the past two years for anything.

Here’s the thing, though: it was our baby. No matter what, it will always be our baby. We fought together, we failed together, and we triumphed together.

This space here? It’s totally mine.

It’s easier in some ways because it’s mine. I decide how it goes (to a certain extent). I make the first and final call. But it’s harder. Because I can’t bounce ideas off of someone else. There is no safety net here.

And yet there is. Because ultimately, it’s what God decides to do with it. It’s not my space, it’s His. There may not be a safety net, but there is the shelter of His wings and the promise of His love.

And just for a reminder to myself and what I’m doing by being here…

It’s not about me. It’s not about my dreams, my goals, or my hopes. It’s not about being a big blogger or striving to tread water with the big fishes. This place is about Him, about how He is showing Himself to me and the many ways He does so. Sometimes it will be about my life, about the hard days and about the gifts that He has given. But always, always about Him first.

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