Deep Breath…

Again, cannot believe it’s already Friday! The weeks just fly by… Time for Five-Minute Friday!! Five minutes, no worrying if it comes out right or not, no editing…just…writing. 🙂 Because I think I can spare five minutes…

Go!

Abby cries again at 4…she had started sleeping through the night, but now? Now she is sick…and so am I. But I put aside my sleep, get up (after about five minutes of her crying), and nurse her once again. I pick her up, hold her, and recline against the pillows. But I can’t fall asleep like this. I let her lay on my chest to breathe better, so she can sleep better…but I can’t sleep like this. Deep breath…

She wakes up around 7:30…just as I finally fall asleep. And I nurse again. Deep breath…

This mothering thing? Sometimes I just want to give in. I get tired of all the needing. She needs me to play with her. She needs me to comfort her. She needs me to protect her, love her, feed her, make her feel better… Deep breath…

Because I am reminded that this baby phase is just that…a phase. One day, she won’t need me anymore, just as I don’t need my mother anymore. She won’t be this little bundle of sweetness…I hear there’s a this thing called the terrible two’s? She won’t be little. She won’t need…and right now? I’m her world. So I take one more deep breath…calmly reassuring myself that this really is worth it.

Stop!

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3 thoughts on “Deep Breath…

  1. Caroline says:

    Ohh, yes: “She wakes up around 7:30…just as I finally fall asleep. And I nurse again.” I totally get that. My son literally slept ON my husband or myself for his first 5 months (he had tummy issues, too). It's so worth it, though. And the bond created is so special. And God gives you strength to persevere.

    Thank you for your honest five minutes!

  2. The Searcher says:

    I know your little girl is too young to say “thank you” yet, but you deserve a word of thanks and praise for being such a good mom! May God bless you for being a caring mother to your child. I hope you get some much needed rest soon!

  3. Paula Ebert says:

    “Sometimes I just want to give in. I get tired of all the needing.” I totally understand this. Sometimes we just need to not be needed for a while. Just said a prayer for you. May God give you some peace and rest!! (My little one is crying in the background as I'm typing this.) 🙂

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